My Friend

~~~~~~~~~~

I see you struggling, fighting, crumbling
You say you are fine – Yet I know you are not

 Your lips, they smile – your words, they dismiss
But your eyes, your eyes show the truth

 And who would be, who possibly could be
It’s too much to ask at a time like this

 Three years have passed since your world flipped over
Since your daughter heard the word cancer

 She fought. You tucked away the pain
And stood strong to fight along with her

Now, fourteen months have passed since your soul shattered
Since the words stage four, metastasized, and three new places

The hurt, the fear, the thousand questions
It was all nearly too much to bear

Again, you gathered yourself and patched your heart
And you gave strength to your first and only child

You drove, you cooked, you cleaned, you gave your all
You believed, you supported, you encouraged

You rallied her confidence when it waned
You asked the questions she could not ask

 When her husband’s strength gave out
You were strength enough for all

That’s what Mothers do, isn’t it?
Everyone else first, all the time, anytime

That’s how deep the love is
That’s how far the power of it reaches

Three weeks now. A precious, short three weeks
Since you heard time is running out

She’s only 37! Your heart screamed
It’s not supposed to be like this. It’s just not.

You wanted to fight and refuse to give in
It’s what Mothers do. But how could you?

 Each day meant more intense pain for your child
Her body had nothing left to give. It had won.

So you gathered your courage and watched
Watched her write or say good-byes

 You reached deep and found laughter as you reminisced
Reminisced about all the sweet memories

 You took deep breaths and listened
Listened as she spoke love to you, her Mommy

You pushed back your tears and whispered
Whispered words of peace, lullabies of eternal love

 Four days now. Four painfully long days
Since your daughter slipped away in the night

Can’t we have just one more day? I miss her already.
It shouldn’t be like this. I love you, daughter.

Details, conversations, arrangements, questions
How can life go on when I hurt like this?

 Yet three years have taught you to be strong
For that was your place, your calling, your very name – Mom

So you push back your shoulders and step forward
One moment at a time. You are strong. You can do this.

Yes, yes, you can. There is no doubt.
It hurts and always will – but yes, you can do it

But now, it is time for you to let us be your strength
You feel alone – no family left – but you are not

You have us … we will stand beside you
We will carry you – because that’s what friends do

Let go, sweet friend, let your soul grieve
It’s okay – we don’t expect you to be strong.

We’ll miss her and hurt along with you – we love you
It’s our time now to take care of you, my friend.

~~~~~~~~~~

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22 responses to “My Friend

  1. Okay….you have me sobbing this morning. This was so very beautiful. I am so sorry for your pain and loss.

    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s.

  2. This was absolutely, breathtaking beautiful. Heartbreaking and heartwarming. My prayers to you and your friend and her family. It’s devastating to lose a child; I’m glad that she has you.

  3. Oh my friend, admidst all the beauty here, this is the most exquisite. I have no words. Bravo.

    • Oh, thank you, sweet Jana. It was hard to write as it felt like walking through the entire 3 years again except from her perspective, but I really felt I needed to do it …

  4. So beautiful, Sheryl! Your words are so moving and deep. Thank you for letting us into such a tender time for you and your friend.

  5. This is so heartbreaking.

  6. So beautiful and heartbreaking!
    I am so sorry for the loss of such a young daughter.

  7. Along with so many others, my heart is BREAKING for the both of you. It should be illegal to cry before noon.

  8. (visiting from Mama Kat’s) Such beautiful yet heart wrenching words. I understand having “your world flipped”…I was diagnosed with aggressive stage 3 cancer one year ago. One of the earliest lessons I learned was that the diagnosis was not my own. It belonged to all those who love me as well. Many times I felt it a much greater burden for them as they felt helpless in the fight. Sending up prayers for peace and comfort…

    • Oh, Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your battle with cancer as well. I will keep you in my prayers. I haven’t had the blessing of stumbling upon your blog yet, so I am heading there now. Thank you again for coming by my blog, and hope you’ll do so again. Praying for you!

      • I so appreciate your reply to my comment and am humbled and honored you will pray for me. I wanted to let you know I am an avid fan of your blog since finding you through Mama Kat. Your posts are coming by way of my inbox. While I love the convenience of that, I am ashamed to admit I don’t comment as often. You are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing with us. Still praying for you and your friend. Oh…and one more thing…thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. I haven’t been as diligent with my writing as I was pre-“c” but life is returning to normal and I plan to be writing more soon.

        • Goodness, please do not apologize at all – I am just so glad to know I have an avid follower. Ha! 🙂 I just started this blog a few months ago and have been too chicken to share it with many IRL friends, so my circle is expanding slowly. But, I am writing what’s on my heart and so I am happy. Also, I totally understand the commenting – I subscribe to most blogs (yours now, too!) in Google Reader and so am not very good about popping over to comment either. Though I never thought I would, I have recently joined Twitter and seem to keep in touch with a few new blog friends there a little more successfully, though I am not sure why! Regardless, I am so touched to know that you are here and have been inspired by you already – you have a strength in your story that I cannot fathom. I will pray, and look forward to getting to blog-hop with you more in coming days!

          • I can help but think this is one of those moments that was meant to happen. I’m NEVER up this late. LOL! I must say, I’m shocked you have only been writing for a short time…so much depth to your posts. And your blog design…I’m impressed and I’ll just go ahead and say it…jealous! I’ve been trying to find the time to revamp my site but its either write a post or create a new design. Writing wins out every time. Thank you for subscribing and I do have a twitter account. Although I’ve not taken the time to learn how to properly tweet either. Hmmm…I’m not painting a very good picture of myself. So…I will be back thru comments or email and let you know when I get the tweeting thing under control. Would love to stay in touch as I meant it when I said you are an inspiration. I hope you had a most blessed Thanksgiving (and thanks for sharing those recipes, by the way). Will “chat” with you soon. -L

            • I agree with you totally about paths that are just supposed to cross. On my blog design, thanks!! I didn’t dive into it for a long while, though, for the same reasons as you. I don’t have the know-how but just took a Saturday and played around until I was somewhat satisfied. I love your header on your blog – so cute! Twitter – I’m quite sure I don’t do it right either and am now following so many people I’d never keep up (how do people do that?!), but I try. We shall definitely keep up through one means or another, though … in the meantime, may God bless you today with lots of love and laughter!!

  9. I can’t imagine anything worse than losing a daughter too soon. Such a heartbreaking thing to happen. My condolences to you and your friend.

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